She wrote: Sometimes we choose labels unconsciously with little things that we say to others like “I let X person take care of the finances” (trusting) or “I need coffee to start my day” (coffee addict)...
...Changing labels will start by changing the words that we say to ourselves and then being aware of the comments we make about ourselves. It doesn’t mean things will transform over night; but I can certainly imagine that if I say these things repeatedly about myself they will become true, simply because I will unconsciously beging to believe them…just like I believed some of the negative things I heard as a child.
This got me thinking about some of the labels I've given myself.
- I love sweets, and crave them all the time
- I'm not a kid person
- I'm short on patience
- I'm super forgetful
- I'm feel miserable all the time (refering to the aches and pains that come with being pregnant).
- I love eating healthy
- I enjoy kids
- I'm learning to be more patient
- I am organized so that I will be less forgettful
- I feel good, and have a healthy pregnancy
This is was a great post. Thanks for teaching me!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm... I needed to read this. Thank you. I find that my initial labels of people are usually wrong. I try to be more conscientious of that (it's a work in progress). But I need to think more about how I label myself...
ReplyDeleteOn an unrelated note, I'm doing some catch-up and I just read about your horrible Wal-Mart trip. Um, that constitutes a bad mom-day. (Not because you were bad, because the day was!)
One of the things I struggle with as a parent and that I am learning is - my child is not an extension of me. If they have a bad day, it is because they are a human being having a bad day. If they hit someone, it does not mean I am a bad mom (um, yes, that has happened... more than once.) My child has their agency and my job is not to control, manipulate, or force my child to be perfect. They are their own person and came to earth that way. Heavenly Father sent them to our family because in His infinite wisdom he knew that we had the potential to parent them in a way that would help (not force)them to return home to Him. This is hard for me because I am an in-control kind of person. And I struggle with feeling like my children and their behavior somehow reflect on me as a parent. And while really bad parenting does show - I think we all know and love people who have ridiculously awesome parents and still make bad choices. So my job is to do the best I can, do all I can to teach them love for the Lord, their divinity, hard work, respect, compassion, etc. All the while remembering that they have their agency.
I don't know if that makes any sense, but those have been my thoughts lately. In the end, I cannot save my children. God can. So I turn them over to Him and do the very best I can.
All that being said - tantrums in the store are always embarrassing.
Adam took 3 - count them 3 - packs of gum off of the shelf on our last shopping trip, opened 2 and was gorging himself on bubblegum. The cashier people did not look pleased. *Sigh* I'll laugh about it a few years from now. Today on our shopping trip I was just hoping no one would remember us. :)
And, I think they are sent to our families for our benefit too. (I forgot to add that above).
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