How do you manage your time?
Some days I feel super productive but recently I feel the opposite. And how do you prioritize??
Raising the children is my #1 job, but sometimes the dishes need to be done and the laundry needs to be folded, or at least washed! Sometimes I need a break. Sometimes I feel guilty taking my kids to the park because it isn't "productive" but really spending time with them and letting them play and enjoy the fresh air is one of the best things I could be doing. But it means letting other things go....
Why is my house never as clean as I'd like it to be - and why can't I motivate myself to clean the windowsills that desperately need it??!
I feel like I used to be awesome at time management and now I am failing.
I think one of the big things is dropping the "do it all" mentality that is so pervasive in our society. So what are the important things. When Elaine is painting a picture, do I do the dishes or do I sit down at the table and talk with her? It probably depends in part on the day, but I've just been struggling with time lately. My days seem full but at the end of the day I've wondered what I have done. There is no good checklist for motherhood - so how can I feel satisfied and fulfilled with where I am, knowing that 10 years from now I may have more time for my personal "to dos" and less time painting and blowing bubbles?? It's tricky.
-Christine
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Veggies
Any ideas about how to get toddlers to eat more veggies? Drew was loving canned pumpkin, but with the pumpkin shortage, that's a no go now.
I admit that I'm not a veggie addict, but I've been working really hard to change to set a better example for Drew. However, I can't expect him to eat a raw cucumber or a piece of celery, and cooked stuff doesn't seem to interest him.
Any ideas? I'm concerned I'm teaching him bad eating habits.
But he did eat grilled polenta tonight. That's gotta count for something.
I admit that I'm not a veggie addict, but I've been working really hard to change to set a better example for Drew. However, I can't expect him to eat a raw cucumber or a piece of celery, and cooked stuff doesn't seem to interest him.
Any ideas? I'm concerned I'm teaching him bad eating habits.
But he did eat grilled polenta tonight. That's gotta count for something.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
What's for dinner?
Growing up, I can remember my Mom getting so frustrated when we would complain about what she made for dinner, or not eat the food she prepared. And I never understood why she got so frustrated.
I now understand.
Abby is a picky eater. And Lexi is only 1 and still is a little limited by the food that she can eat.
Dinner seems to be a battle every night.
I know that Dr's and Pediatricians are now really recommending that you don't force kids to eat ALL the food that is served them. That we need to let them learn to listen to their bodies, and decide what and how much they want to eat. I have totally agreed with this, I think this is a great tool to help fight childhood obesity. The rule at our house has always been, that Abby just has to take one or two bites of every food on her plate. She has to try it before she can say that she doesn't like it. (That being said, if she doesn't eat but a bite or two total during a meal, then she doesn't get any snacks. I'm no fool, and I know when she is really not hungry, or just being stubborn.)
I've also tried to not "cater" to her wants and desires. She can either eat what is for dinner, or go hungry. I'm not going to make her a special meal.
However, even with all these guidelines that I've set up, dinner time seems to be falling apart. It's almost like the line between following the rules, and breaking the rules has gotten a little blurry.
Example:
If we are having spaghetti for dinner, Abby doesn't like the sauce, so she just eats the noodles, with some cheese on them. I thought this was a nice compromise. But slowly, it's progressed to even more than that. If we are having taco's for dinner, she just wants a quesadilla. Now a quesadilla requires some of the same ingredients as taco's, just a different method of preperation. Another compromise, but the line is getting pretty blurry now.
It's just gotten easier to do it this way, there is less of a battle at dinner.
But dinner still isn't easy. It seems we are constantly negotiating.
Me: "Abby, just eat three more bites, then you'll be done"
Abby: "No, two more bites"
And so on.
I'm so frustrated.
The situation is even futher complicated because right now Cameron and I also have very different needs at dinner.
Cam is trying to not eat carbs after 4pm (something to do with his weightlifting, I'm not sure of the exact reason for this diet change). And me, because the baby is now occupying all the space that used to be for my stomach, have little room for a heavy meal. I also get horrible heartburn if I go to bed with food in my tummy, so I try to eat a light dinner (i.e. salad) so that most of the food is digested before I go to bed.
It now seems that there are multiple meals being prepared every night. A salad for me, a protien for Cam, usually chicken or some other meat, and then some sides that the girls will eat. Although the situation with Cam and I is only temperorary, I'm afraid that there is going to be some habits created that will be hard to break.
Any tips on getting kids to eat the meals that are prepared for them? I'm not going to have hot dogs and chicken nuggets every night for dinner, just to please the girls. I want real, good, healthy food. And no more crying and tantrums at the dinner table.
I now understand.
Abby is a picky eater. And Lexi is only 1 and still is a little limited by the food that she can eat.
Dinner seems to be a battle every night.
I know that Dr's and Pediatricians are now really recommending that you don't force kids to eat ALL the food that is served them. That we need to let them learn to listen to their bodies, and decide what and how much they want to eat. I have totally agreed with this, I think this is a great tool to help fight childhood obesity. The rule at our house has always been, that Abby just has to take one or two bites of every food on her plate. She has to try it before she can say that she doesn't like it. (That being said, if she doesn't eat but a bite or two total during a meal, then she doesn't get any snacks. I'm no fool, and I know when she is really not hungry, or just being stubborn.)
I've also tried to not "cater" to her wants and desires. She can either eat what is for dinner, or go hungry. I'm not going to make her a special meal.
However, even with all these guidelines that I've set up, dinner time seems to be falling apart. It's almost like the line between following the rules, and breaking the rules has gotten a little blurry.
Example:
If we are having spaghetti for dinner, Abby doesn't like the sauce, so she just eats the noodles, with some cheese on them. I thought this was a nice compromise. But slowly, it's progressed to even more than that. If we are having taco's for dinner, she just wants a quesadilla. Now a quesadilla requires some of the same ingredients as taco's, just a different method of preperation. Another compromise, but the line is getting pretty blurry now.
It's just gotten easier to do it this way, there is less of a battle at dinner.
But dinner still isn't easy. It seems we are constantly negotiating.
Me: "Abby, just eat three more bites, then you'll be done"
Abby: "No, two more bites"
And so on.
I'm so frustrated.
The situation is even futher complicated because right now Cameron and I also have very different needs at dinner.
Cam is trying to not eat carbs after 4pm (something to do with his weightlifting, I'm not sure of the exact reason for this diet change). And me, because the baby is now occupying all the space that used to be for my stomach, have little room for a heavy meal. I also get horrible heartburn if I go to bed with food in my tummy, so I try to eat a light dinner (i.e. salad) so that most of the food is digested before I go to bed.
It now seems that there are multiple meals being prepared every night. A salad for me, a protien for Cam, usually chicken or some other meat, and then some sides that the girls will eat. Although the situation with Cam and I is only temperorary, I'm afraid that there is going to be some habits created that will be hard to break.
Any tips on getting kids to eat the meals that are prepared for them? I'm not going to have hot dogs and chicken nuggets every night for dinner, just to please the girls. I want real, good, healthy food. And no more crying and tantrums at the dinner table.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Rights
I was given a handout with these rights on it, and it's been a good reminder to me. Enjoy.
SAMPLE LIST OF BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS
The right to have and express your own feelings and opinions.
The right to refuse requests without having to feel guilty or selfish.
The right to consider your own needs.
The right to set your own priorities and make your own decisions.
The right to change.
The right to decide what to do with your own property, body and time.
The right to make mistakes- - - - -and be responsible for them.
The right to ask for what you want (realizing that the other person has the right to say no).
The right to ask for information (including professionals).
The right to choose not to assert yourself.
The right to do anything as long as it does not violate the rights of someone else.
The right to maintain your dignity be being properly assertive- - -even if the other person feels hurt- - -as long as you do not violate the other person's basic human rights.
The right to be independent.
The right to be successful.
The right to have rights and stand up for them.
The right to be left alone.
The right to be treated with respect and dignity.
The right to be listened to and taken seriously.
The right to get what you pay for.
The right to initiate a discussion of the problem with the person involved and to clarify it, in borderline interpersonal cases where the rights involved are not clear.
SAMPLE LIST OF BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS
The right to have and express your own feelings and opinions.
The right to refuse requests without having to feel guilty or selfish.
The right to consider your own needs.
The right to set your own priorities and make your own decisions.
The right to change.
The right to decide what to do with your own property, body and time.
The right to make mistakes- - - - -and be responsible for them.
The right to ask for what you want (realizing that the other person has the right to say no).
The right to ask for information (including professionals).
The right to choose not to assert yourself.
The right to do anything as long as it does not violate the rights of someone else.
The right to maintain your dignity be being properly assertive- - -even if the other person feels hurt- - -as long as you do not violate the other person's basic human rights.
The right to be independent.
The right to be successful.
The right to have rights and stand up for them.
The right to be left alone.
The right to be treated with respect and dignity.
The right to be listened to and taken seriously.
The right to get what you pay for.
The right to initiate a discussion of the problem with the person involved and to clarify it, in borderline interpersonal cases where the rights involved are not clear.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Pasta dish
I made this dish a couple of times in the last few weeks. It's pretty good, and healthy. I don't really have an exact recipe, I just kind of put some ingredients together.
P.S I just made this recipe up. I think I was served a similar dish by my sister-in-law several years ago, and just kind of put together this recipe from what I could remember. So I'm sure there are many changes or additions to the recipe that would make it even better.
- Turkey Sausage (or regualar sausage)
- Penne noodles (or I'm sure speghetti would work well too)
- Canned, diced tomatoes with Italian seasonings (Basil, Oregeno)
- Spinach
P.S I just made this recipe up. I think I was served a similar dish by my sister-in-law several years ago, and just kind of put together this recipe from what I could remember. So I'm sure there are many changes or additions to the recipe that would make it even better.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Changing how we define ourselves
Today I was reading a blog, and the writer talked about changing the way that we define or describe ourselves.
She wrote: Sometimes we choose labels unconsciously with little things that we say to others like “I let X person take care of the finances” (trusting) or “I need coffee to start my day” (coffee addict)...
...Changing labels will start by changing the words that we say to ourselves and then being aware of the comments we make about ourselves. It doesn’t mean things will transform over night; but I can certainly imagine that if I say these things repeatedly about myself they will become true, simply because I will unconsciously beging to believe them…just like I believed some of the negative things I heard as a child.
This got me thinking about some of the labels I've given myself.
She wrote: Sometimes we choose labels unconsciously with little things that we say to others like “I let X person take care of the finances” (trusting) or “I need coffee to start my day” (coffee addict)...
...Changing labels will start by changing the words that we say to ourselves and then being aware of the comments we make about ourselves. It doesn’t mean things will transform over night; but I can certainly imagine that if I say these things repeatedly about myself they will become true, simply because I will unconsciously beging to believe them…just like I believed some of the negative things I heard as a child.
This got me thinking about some of the labels I've given myself.
- I love sweets, and crave them all the time
- I'm not a kid person
- I'm short on patience
- I'm super forgetful
- I'm feel miserable all the time (refering to the aches and pains that come with being pregnant).
- I love eating healthy
- I enjoy kids
- I'm learning to be more patient
- I am organized so that I will be less forgettful
- I feel good, and have a healthy pregnancy
Monday, February 28, 2011
For the Mothers of Boys
I'm sure this has happened to all of us, but to catch it on film? Priceless.
ENJOY!
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2011/02/28/baby-pee/
ENJOY!
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2011/02/28/baby-pee/
Friday, February 25, 2011
Strogaburgers
Here's a great and healthy recipe I tried this week--my friend also has a great blog about eating healthy, and this and all of her recipes rock.
Enjoy!
http://eatplaylove4life.blogspot.com/
Strogaburgers
1 pound lean ground turkey
6 slices turkey bacon, sliced (I confess I used the real stuff.)
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 1/2 TBSP flour
3/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. paprika
Dash pepper
1 can fat free cream of mushroom soup
1 cup fat free sour cream
Whole wheat hamburger buns
Place ground turkey and bacon in skillet. Cook and stir until meat is browned. Add onion and cook until tender. Spoon off excess fat. Blend flour, salt, paprika and pepper into meat. Stir in soup. Cook, uncovered, on medium-low heat about 15 to 20 minutes, stirring often. Serve in buns. (The Orowheat Sandwich Thins were great.)
Enjoy!
http://eatplaylove4life.blogspot.com/
Strogaburgers
1 pound lean ground turkey
6 slices turkey bacon, sliced (I confess I used the real stuff.)
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 1/2 TBSP flour
3/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. paprika
Dash pepper
1 can fat free cream of mushroom soup
1 cup fat free sour cream
Whole wheat hamburger buns
Place ground turkey and bacon in skillet. Cook and stir until meat is browned. Add onion and cook until tender. Spoon off excess fat. Blend flour, salt, paprika and pepper into meat. Stir in soup. Cook, uncovered, on medium-low heat about 15 to 20 minutes, stirring often. Serve in buns. (The Orowheat Sandwich Thins were great.)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I thank my God upon every remembrance of you
(Philippians 1:3)
My heart is so full today, and I want to write about it.
I have a new favorite song. Call it my theme song. Here are the lyrics.
I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream
I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream
I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream
I've been really enjoying this song for awhile because it affects me on many different levels--the personal changes I'm making in my life and so on. But, this song took on a whole new meaning when...
A friend of mine passed away suddenly yesterday.
We weren't best friends, but good casual friends. She cut my family's hair and she made me feel great whenever I saw her. I am heartbroken. I just talked to her on Monday.
How short life is! How fragile it is! Do I have my priorities straight? What really matters? People matter! Love matters! Have I told my family and friends how much I love them lately? Do I focus on the important things, or do I get caught up in the nonsense of day-to-day things?
And what of that dream? Well, I hope you don't mind me relating the gospel to an ABBA song, but it seems to fit for me. Because I have a dream of that final destination, I can push through the darkness of this for still another mile.
And yet, I know my friend. I can hear her voice saying to me, "Becky, why are you so sad? It's just me. I'm just fine. Don't you worry. Go on now, be happy." And so I am trying to be happy. I trust Heavenly Father. I know He knows what's best. And I am so grateful to have rubbed shoulders with this wonderful woman for a few short years.
Thanks for listening. I just want you all to know that I love each of you, and I appreciate your influence in my life as well.
My heart is so full today, and I want to write about it.
I have a new favorite song. Call it my theme song. Here are the lyrics.
I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream
I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream
I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream
I've been really enjoying this song for awhile because it affects me on many different levels--the personal changes I'm making in my life and so on. But, this song took on a whole new meaning when...
A friend of mine passed away suddenly yesterday.
We weren't best friends, but good casual friends. She cut my family's hair and she made me feel great whenever I saw her. I am heartbroken. I just talked to her on Monday.
How short life is! How fragile it is! Do I have my priorities straight? What really matters? People matter! Love matters! Have I told my family and friends how much I love them lately? Do I focus on the important things, or do I get caught up in the nonsense of day-to-day things?
And what of that dream? Well, I hope you don't mind me relating the gospel to an ABBA song, but it seems to fit for me. Because I have a dream of that final destination, I can push through the darkness of this for still another mile.
And yet, I know my friend. I can hear her voice saying to me, "Becky, why are you so sad? It's just me. I'm just fine. Don't you worry. Go on now, be happy." And so I am trying to be happy. I trust Heavenly Father. I know He knows what's best. And I am so grateful to have rubbed shoulders with this wonderful woman for a few short years.
Thanks for listening. I just want you all to know that I love each of you, and I appreciate your influence in my life as well.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
What a day!
This morning I ventured out for my weekly grocery shopping trip. Today, I was headed to Walmart. As we got ready, and left the house, things had thus far gone quite smoothly, so I had high hopes that the trip would be uneventful. I was quickly proven wrong.
During the car ride, Lexi had messed her diaper, so I slowly meandered to the back of the store where the family restrooms were. I'd picked up a few items on the way, and was about half way finished with gathering all the needed groceries. I took both the girls into the family restroom so everyone could take care of business, however, Abby wanted to use the big girl bathroom (it has a little sink that is just her height, and is the highlight of every Walmart trip). I was in a hurry, and asked her to just use this bathroom. This is when the crying and screaming started. I finished cleaning up Lexi, and gathered my things and left the bathroom. I hoped that Abby would settle down after a few minutes, and stop the crying. I wasn't prepared, however, for her screaming "I have to go potty!!!" over and over and over. Now, imagine, if you saw a kid yelling that they needed to go potty, and their mother was ignoring the request, what would you think? Honestly, I'd probably pass a little judgement, and wonder why that mother WASN'T taking their kid to the bathroom. After several minutes of this, and no real sign that the fit was going to die down, my patience was wearing quite thin, and I was becoming more than a little embarrassed. I can't even remember what happened, but something happened that elevated Abby's crying fit, to a full on tantrum. I knew at this point, I was going to have to leave the store. I picked up Lexi, abandoned my groceries, and dragged Abby out of the store SCREAMING. I kept my eyes forward, and avoided looking at ANYONE. I was completely mortified, and knew we were making quite a scene.
Once I was out to the car, we got in, and I seriously comtemplated just leaving, and doing my grocery shopping another day. Then I remembered that I had been asked to take a meal to a family in our ward tonight, and didn't have the needed ingredients to make a meal. I was going to have to go back inside Walmart, and get at least a few items. I waited till Abby had calmed down, and gave her a stern talking to about what is acceptable behavior in the store, and headed back into the store. Fortutely, I was able to locate our cart of groceries, and had high hopes that I would be able to quickly finish, and get out the store for good.
It was at this moment, that Lexi decided to mess her diaper AGAIN. What made this even better, was that I had only grabbed one diaper to bring with me to the store, which I'd already used. I desperatly wanted to just finish shopping and wait to change Lexi till I got home. But I knew that I would get even more stares from the other shoppers, if I was ignoring the fact that my 1 year old stunk to high heaven. So, we, once again, headed back to the bathroom to try to see if I could figure out some way to salvage this diaper. I managed to get Lexi cleaned up as best as I could, and left to hopefully finally finish shopping.
This time, I was actually able to get the last needed items, and head out of the store. As I got in the car to head home, I finally broke down. The tears came. I just kept wondering what people were thinking if they had witnessed our little episode. Here I am, obviously pregnant, with a little 1 year old (which in and of itself gets stares from strangers, wondering WHY in the world I would be having another baby already), and dragging a screaming girl all around the store. I'm sure at least one person was thinking "that lady should NOT be bringing any more children into this world. She can't even handle the ones she's got." And truthfully, at that moment, I would have to completely agree with them.
These last couple of weeks, Abby has really been testing our limits. She's started giving me a lot of attitude, and I feel like every little thing is a battle. As I sat in the car, crying, I truly felt like I was failing my job as a mother. I was dissappointing my Heavenly Father, and not raising the sweet little baby that he had given me in a respectable way.
Why does our jobs as mothers have to be so difficult? It's so hard to see Abby be the sweetest, cutest little girl that makes me laugh, and fills me with such pride, turn into a snotty, tantrum throwing 3 year old. I feel like I am trying SO hard to do everything right, and am getting no where. I spend hours thinking about what it is I could possibly be doing wrong. I feel this huge weight on my shoulders all the time. I keep thinking of that article that Becky posted where it said that some parents are "selected by some divine process to be worthy of very difficult parenting challenges". And I just want to scream, "I am NOT worthy".
I actually doubt that my "parenting challenges" would be considered "very difficult" to some moms. We are just a typical family, raising a typical 3 and 1 year old. I'm sure most moms have gone through a very similar experience, and suffered very similar emotions.
I think I'll just be walking away from this experience with more confirmation that our jobs are hard, and we are not alone.
During the car ride, Lexi had messed her diaper, so I slowly meandered to the back of the store where the family restrooms were. I'd picked up a few items on the way, and was about half way finished with gathering all the needed groceries. I took both the girls into the family restroom so everyone could take care of business, however, Abby wanted to use the big girl bathroom (it has a little sink that is just her height, and is the highlight of every Walmart trip). I was in a hurry, and asked her to just use this bathroom. This is when the crying and screaming started. I finished cleaning up Lexi, and gathered my things and left the bathroom. I hoped that Abby would settle down after a few minutes, and stop the crying. I wasn't prepared, however, for her screaming "I have to go potty!!!" over and over and over. Now, imagine, if you saw a kid yelling that they needed to go potty, and their mother was ignoring the request, what would you think? Honestly, I'd probably pass a little judgement, and wonder why that mother WASN'T taking their kid to the bathroom. After several minutes of this, and no real sign that the fit was going to die down, my patience was wearing quite thin, and I was becoming more than a little embarrassed. I can't even remember what happened, but something happened that elevated Abby's crying fit, to a full on tantrum. I knew at this point, I was going to have to leave the store. I picked up Lexi, abandoned my groceries, and dragged Abby out of the store SCREAMING. I kept my eyes forward, and avoided looking at ANYONE. I was completely mortified, and knew we were making quite a scene.
Once I was out to the car, we got in, and I seriously comtemplated just leaving, and doing my grocery shopping another day. Then I remembered that I had been asked to take a meal to a family in our ward tonight, and didn't have the needed ingredients to make a meal. I was going to have to go back inside Walmart, and get at least a few items. I waited till Abby had calmed down, and gave her a stern talking to about what is acceptable behavior in the store, and headed back into the store. Fortutely, I was able to locate our cart of groceries, and had high hopes that I would be able to quickly finish, and get out the store for good.
It was at this moment, that Lexi decided to mess her diaper AGAIN. What made this even better, was that I had only grabbed one diaper to bring with me to the store, which I'd already used. I desperatly wanted to just finish shopping and wait to change Lexi till I got home. But I knew that I would get even more stares from the other shoppers, if I was ignoring the fact that my 1 year old stunk to high heaven. So, we, once again, headed back to the bathroom to try to see if I could figure out some way to salvage this diaper. I managed to get Lexi cleaned up as best as I could, and left to hopefully finally finish shopping.
This time, I was actually able to get the last needed items, and head out of the store. As I got in the car to head home, I finally broke down. The tears came. I just kept wondering what people were thinking if they had witnessed our little episode. Here I am, obviously pregnant, with a little 1 year old (which in and of itself gets stares from strangers, wondering WHY in the world I would be having another baby already), and dragging a screaming girl all around the store. I'm sure at least one person was thinking "that lady should NOT be bringing any more children into this world. She can't even handle the ones she's got." And truthfully, at that moment, I would have to completely agree with them.
These last couple of weeks, Abby has really been testing our limits. She's started giving me a lot of attitude, and I feel like every little thing is a battle. As I sat in the car, crying, I truly felt like I was failing my job as a mother. I was dissappointing my Heavenly Father, and not raising the sweet little baby that he had given me in a respectable way.
Why does our jobs as mothers have to be so difficult? It's so hard to see Abby be the sweetest, cutest little girl that makes me laugh, and fills me with such pride, turn into a snotty, tantrum throwing 3 year old. I feel like I am trying SO hard to do everything right, and am getting no where. I spend hours thinking about what it is I could possibly be doing wrong. I feel this huge weight on my shoulders all the time. I keep thinking of that article that Becky posted where it said that some parents are "selected by some divine process to be worthy of very difficult parenting challenges". And I just want to scream, "I am NOT worthy".
I actually doubt that my "parenting challenges" would be considered "very difficult" to some moms. We are just a typical family, raising a typical 3 and 1 year old. I'm sure most moms have gone through a very similar experience, and suffered very similar emotions.
I think I'll just be walking away from this experience with more confirmation that our jobs are hard, and we are not alone.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Mormon Times Parenting Article
My friend read me this article by Linda and Richard Eyre, and I thought it was wonderful. There's a lot of good things we could discuss in here, but right now, I'm too tired to write anything intelligible.
Enjoy!
Getting rid of Pride and Guilt
http://www.mormontimes.com/article/19600/Getting-rid-of-pride-and-guilt?s_cid=queue_title&utm_source=queue_title
We were visiting a little ward in rural Idaho, and the Sunday School lesson happened to be on parenting. We sat quietly and anonymously and listened.
There was another visitor there, kind of a sophisticated city slicker who seemed to have all the answers. He also seemed to have perfect kids because he prefaced each comment he made with something like, "Well, the way I communicate with my son, the student body president ..." or "The way I handled that with my daughter, the valedictorian ..."
If it had just been a couple of times, it would have been fine, but about the sixth time he gave his perfect, pat answer about his perfect kids, you could almost hear the groans about this self-righteous guy who seemed to have no problems.
Then, just after the first bell, a small, quiet-voiced farmer raised his hand, got called on, stood up and turned to face the big bragger. "Excuse me," he said with a high-pitched country twang, "but God must notta thought much of you as a parent, sendin' ya all them easy kids."
There were some soft giggles from every direction and an almost audible murmur of agreement among the class members. We gave each other's hand a little squeeze and both mumbled, "Amen!" No offense was taken, but we all knew exactly what that good man was saying.
Knowing what we know about our children's pre-existence, about the eternity they have already spent becoming who they are, we had better not take too much credit for who they are. As LDS parents, most of us recognize that we have much less to do with who our kids are than their own growth and development over their past parts of eternity. So we had better not feel too much pride for their gifts and goodness.
And for the same reason, we had better not feel too much guilt for their imperfections and problems.
Because that courageous little farmer could have also said, in another situation to another parent, "God musta thought quite a bit of you as a parent, sendin' ya that difficult kid."
When we see other parents struggling with serious behavioral problems, instead of judging them as poor parents, perhaps we should respect them for how hard they are trying and for the fact that they were selected by some divine process to be worthy of very difficult parenting challenges.
Part of eternal perspective parenting — and a big part of looking for spiritual solutions — is remembering and understanding that we didn't create our children; that they come as who they are from a Father who entrusts us with stewardship for them. We do our best to help our children grow and develop in ways that are uniquely right for them, and we seek God's help.
Thus, we try not to judge other parents or ourselves. We replace pride with gratitude when a child does something well or shows promise in some way, and we replace guilt with perspective and added love when a child falls short or makes a mistake.
Enjoy!
Getting rid of Pride and Guilt
http://www.mormontimes.com/article/19600/Getting-rid-of-pride-and-guilt?s_cid=queue_title&utm_source=queue_title
We were visiting a little ward in rural Idaho, and the Sunday School lesson happened to be on parenting. We sat quietly and anonymously and listened.
There was another visitor there, kind of a sophisticated city slicker who seemed to have all the answers. He also seemed to have perfect kids because he prefaced each comment he made with something like, "Well, the way I communicate with my son, the student body president ..." or "The way I handled that with my daughter, the valedictorian ..."
If it had just been a couple of times, it would have been fine, but about the sixth time he gave his perfect, pat answer about his perfect kids, you could almost hear the groans about this self-righteous guy who seemed to have no problems.
Then, just after the first bell, a small, quiet-voiced farmer raised his hand, got called on, stood up and turned to face the big bragger. "Excuse me," he said with a high-pitched country twang, "but God must notta thought much of you as a parent, sendin' ya all them easy kids."
There were some soft giggles from every direction and an almost audible murmur of agreement among the class members. We gave each other's hand a little squeeze and both mumbled, "Amen!" No offense was taken, but we all knew exactly what that good man was saying.
Knowing what we know about our children's pre-existence, about the eternity they have already spent becoming who they are, we had better not take too much credit for who they are. As LDS parents, most of us recognize that we have much less to do with who our kids are than their own growth and development over their past parts of eternity. So we had better not feel too much pride for their gifts and goodness.
And for the same reason, we had better not feel too much guilt for their imperfections and problems.
Because that courageous little farmer could have also said, in another situation to another parent, "God musta thought quite a bit of you as a parent, sendin' ya that difficult kid."
When we see other parents struggling with serious behavioral problems, instead of judging them as poor parents, perhaps we should respect them for how hard they are trying and for the fact that they were selected by some divine process to be worthy of very difficult parenting challenges.
Part of eternal perspective parenting — and a big part of looking for spiritual solutions — is remembering and understanding that we didn't create our children; that they come as who they are from a Father who entrusts us with stewardship for them. We do our best to help our children grow and develop in ways that are uniquely right for them, and we seek God's help.
Thus, we try not to judge other parents or ourselves. We replace pride with gratitude when a child does something well or shows promise in some way, and we replace guilt with perspective and added love when a child falls short or makes a mistake.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Personal Progress
As some of you may or may not heard, I am working on Personal Progress to help strengthen my testimony and my relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior. If you'd like to join me, you can find the Personal Progress Program online at the new lds.org. Unfortunately, you can't track your progress online, unless you are a young woman or a young women's leader, but I'm just writing about it in my journal every night.
So, tonight, I'm working on Faith #2 and I'm supposed to talk to a mom, so I thought I'd post here to see what you moms have to say! Are you up for helping me?
"Discuss the qualities a woman needs in order to teach children to have faith and to base their decisions on gospel truths. How can these principles help you in your life today and help you prepare to be a faithful woman, wife, and mother?"
I'm interested in seeing your responses and seeing what I can learn from your good examples! Thanks, ladies!
So, tonight, I'm working on Faith #2 and I'm supposed to talk to a mom, so I thought I'd post here to see what you moms have to say! Are you up for helping me?
"Discuss the qualities a woman needs in order to teach children to have faith and to base their decisions on gospel truths. How can these principles help you in your life today and help you prepare to be a faithful woman, wife, and mother?"
I'm interested in seeing your responses and seeing what I can learn from your good examples! Thanks, ladies!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
When you just need to vent
I have a question for all you amazing ladies.
What do you do when you just need to vent? Specifically, if you need to vent ABOUT someone. I try to avoid negative talk about other people (family, friends, etc.), but I know it seems that, especially for us girls, it can rid a lot of the thoughts running around in our brains, it we just vent, and GET. IT. OUT!
So I feel like I can either be stuck in a fowl mood, with lots of negative feeling and thoughts bottled up (like Becky's previous post) or vent and then feel horrible because I gossiped about someone I care about.
P.S. I hope I'm not dominating this blog too much. I feel like I put up posts all the time. I just love blogging, and love being able to "communicate" with you girls so much! Let me know if I need to back off.
What do you do when you just need to vent? Specifically, if you need to vent ABOUT someone. I try to avoid negative talk about other people (family, friends, etc.), but I know it seems that, especially for us girls, it can rid a lot of the thoughts running around in our brains, it we just vent, and GET. IT. OUT!
So I feel like I can either be stuck in a fowl mood, with lots of negative feeling and thoughts bottled up (like Becky's previous post) or vent and then feel horrible because I gossiped about someone I care about.
P.S. I hope I'm not dominating this blog too much. I feel like I put up posts all the time. I just love blogging, and love being able to "communicate" with you girls so much! Let me know if I need to back off.
Negative Effects
I learned something today.
I was feeling guilty about something, and even though I tried to talk myself out of it, I was having a really hard time letting it go.
However, I found myself becoming more frustrated with little things Drew did (waving a spoon around full of cottage cheese) and the like. Finally, I realized that although I was treating Drew as normal (at least to my view), my guilt and worrying were negatively affecting our interactions.
Once I realized this, I let my guilt and anger with myself go. It was a huge breakthrough to me. Although I've always understood this concept, now I realize that harboring my guilt hurts me...but it also hurts my family.
I was feeling guilty about something, and even though I tried to talk myself out of it, I was having a really hard time letting it go.
However, I found myself becoming more frustrated with little things Drew did (waving a spoon around full of cottage cheese) and the like. Finally, I realized that although I was treating Drew as normal (at least to my view), my guilt and worrying were negatively affecting our interactions.
Once I realized this, I let my guilt and anger with myself go. It was a huge breakthrough to me. Although I've always understood this concept, now I realize that harboring my guilt hurts me...but it also hurts my family.
Friday, February 4, 2011
A trip down memory lane
I was going through some old pictures the other day, and came across some from the high school years. I thought you'd all get a kick out of these.
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| Crystal and Steph |
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| Crystal and Becky |
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| Leisa and Christine. Love the Winne the Pooh shirt, so cute! |
Sunday, January 30, 2011
A Weekend of Inspirtaional Talks
'This weekend we had Women's Conference and Ward Conference--a spiritual feast! Now that I barely catch anything in some Sunday meetings due to a toddler, I really enjoyed these gems that I'll write on here for you guys. I think they will be helpful to all of us. Urm, they're paraphrased quotes, but good all the same...
"Negative self-talk is a stealer of happiness."
"Living the gospel doesn't mean that you have to take a meal to every person in the ward who needs it. Living the gospel means that you do the small things each day--say your prayers, read your scriptures, etc. Just doing your best to follow the Savior each day is living the gospel."
"Women have a unique perspective on life."
My stake president told a story related by a visiting seventy who has a family member in the area (sorry, don't remember his name.) Years ago, this seventy was on a committee to examine the prospects of installing carpeting instead of hardwood floors in chapels. The proposal was turned down because Elder LeGrande Richards thought that it wasn't necessary. Years later, the committee had another opportunity to examine the cost of carpet verses hardwood in the chapels. At the same time, the committee appealed to the perspective of the sisters and asked if carpet would be better in chapels. The sisters said that carpet would be much better because it would be quieter when toys dropped, etc. When the committee presented this argument, Elder Richards became a supporter of carpet in chapels because it would increase reverence.
"A warning voice in the gospel is not a guilt trip. It is a loving reminder to change something in your life."
"Negative self-talk is a stealer of happiness."
"Living the gospel doesn't mean that you have to take a meal to every person in the ward who needs it. Living the gospel means that you do the small things each day--say your prayers, read your scriptures, etc. Just doing your best to follow the Savior each day is living the gospel."
"Women have a unique perspective on life."
My stake president told a story related by a visiting seventy who has a family member in the area (sorry, don't remember his name.) Years ago, this seventy was on a committee to examine the prospects of installing carpeting instead of hardwood floors in chapels. The proposal was turned down because Elder LeGrande Richards thought that it wasn't necessary. Years later, the committee had another opportunity to examine the cost of carpet verses hardwood in the chapels. At the same time, the committee appealed to the perspective of the sisters and asked if carpet would be better in chapels. The sisters said that carpet would be much better because it would be quieter when toys dropped, etc. When the committee presented this argument, Elder Richards became a supporter of carpet in chapels because it would increase reverence.
"A warning voice in the gospel is not a guilt trip. It is a loving reminder to change something in your life."
Friday, January 28, 2011
First Foodie Friday
How about that alliteration?!
So, I think people were interested in sharing recipes and food tips? I'll go ahead and be the first to share.
My recipe, isn't so much a recipe as it is a process.
So, I think people were interested in sharing recipes and food tips? I'll go ahead and be the first to share.
My recipe, isn't so much a recipe as it is a process.
Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Peel, then cut up sweet potatoes. I usually just cut mine into 1 inch slices, but you could cut them smaller if you want them to cook faster. Then use some oil to lightly coat. Place in a 400* oven on a sheet pan. Cook for about 45 minutes (the cooking time depends on how big the slices, and how brown you want the veggie), turning over half way.
Growing up, I had literally NEVER had sweet potatoes, not even at Thanksgiving. When I got married, Cam's family always had sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving. I finally tried them. I figured, how bad could a vegetable be when it's covered in marshmallows. So good! I couldn't believe what I'd been missing for all my life. But for years, I only enjoyed them at Thanksgiving. A year or two ago, Cam and I decided to try to swap out a baked potato for a sweet potato one night for dinner. Same cooking method, just different vegetable. They were good cooked this way too, and have become a regular in our dinner rotation. Then a couple of weeks ago, I tried this method of cooking them, and literally fell in love. I CRAVE these roasted sweet potatoes almost every day. Unfortunately, I don't think the rest of the family fell in love quite like I did. But I do make a big batch, and eat the leftovers for the next couple of days.
P.S. Sometimes I'll add other veggies to be roasted too, potatoes, carrots, etc. But the sweet potatoes are by far my favorite :)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
I'm addicted
I actually have several addictions. Diet soda, chocolate (which I have a love/hate relationship with right now because it gives me HORRIBLE heartburn during this pregnancy), and reading blogs. Primarily fitness/running blogs. I like to live vicariously through these other ladies 10 mile long runs since running more than about 20 minutes has become a little bit difficult lately. I know that not everyone has the same love of running that I do, but I just wanted to share some blogs that I've come across that you might find interesting. In my search for running blogs, occasionally I'll come across a person who is member of the church. Which always excites me. You'd think that since I'm surrounded by members here in Utah, it wouldn't be a big deal, but the cyber world is quite large and church members aren't quite as easy to come by. Anyways, here's a few ladies that I've really enjoyed following their stories.
Hungry Runner Girl This is written by Janae. She lives in Provo, is a high school teacher, and is working toward a sub three hour marathon (less than 7:00 minute miles, amazing!) She talks openly about being a member of the church, and she is just an amazing girl who oozes positivity.
The Lawsons did Dallas This is written by Amy. I think she lives somewhere in the northeast, I can't really remember. She is also a runner, but talks mostly about her life as a mother. She is really funny. I do have to warn you that even though she is a member, she still has a little bit of a colorful vocabulary. Nothing horrible, but I just wanted to warn everyone.
If I can't convince you... This is written my EMZ (not sure what her real name is). She lives in Arizona. Again, she's a runner, but incorperates a lot of her life as a mother also. Her writing style is a little unique, but it's still been to follow her stories also. Plus, she has an amazing 6-pack. That's enough to inspire me to do a few sit-ups.
nieniedialogues This is written by Stephanie. She lives in Provo. Not a runner. But she has a pretty amazing story. A couple years ago she was in a plane crash with her husband, they both survived, but suffered a lot of burns. She is really inspiring!
Anyways, just thought I'd share a little of what I spend my free time doing. Plus, I think it's really neat to "run into" LDS members on the web.
Hungry Runner Girl This is written by Janae. She lives in Provo, is a high school teacher, and is working toward a sub three hour marathon (less than 7:00 minute miles, amazing!) She talks openly about being a member of the church, and she is just an amazing girl who oozes positivity.
The Lawsons did Dallas This is written by Amy. I think she lives somewhere in the northeast, I can't really remember. She is also a runner, but talks mostly about her life as a mother. She is really funny. I do have to warn you that even though she is a member, she still has a little bit of a colorful vocabulary. Nothing horrible, but I just wanted to warn everyone.
If I can't convince you... This is written my EMZ (not sure what her real name is). She lives in Arizona. Again, she's a runner, but incorperates a lot of her life as a mother also. Her writing style is a little unique, but it's still been to follow her stories also. Plus, she has an amazing 6-pack. That's enough to inspire me to do a few sit-ups.
nieniedialogues This is written by Stephanie. She lives in Provo. Not a runner. But she has a pretty amazing story. A couple years ago she was in a plane crash with her husband, they both survived, but suffered a lot of burns. She is really inspiring!
Anyways, just thought I'd share a little of what I spend my free time doing. Plus, I think it's really neat to "run into" LDS members on the web.
Monday, January 24, 2011
On the subject of Housework
I aspire to have a perfectly clean, organized house, but I've never been there. I know some people who do have one, and I'm aghast.
I read some really great quotes the other day:
"Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy."
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
Where is the balance? When Drew is taking a nap, the last thing I want to do is housework. I need some me time. And when Drew's awake, I don't mind doing housework, but I want to spend time with him too.
And another thing...I really detest planning meals. Lately it seems that all my foolproof meals are...boring. I've made them way too many times, and I'm tired of them.
And then comes the menu hunting. It takes lots of time, and I hardly ever find a recipe that I want to make again. Between finding a recipe that's quick to make, and one that's healthy...arg. Honestly, I have thrown some of my unsuccessful meals away because thinking about eating those leftovers is disgusting.
Any ideas?
I read some really great quotes the other day:
"Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy."
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
Where is the balance? When Drew is taking a nap, the last thing I want to do is housework. I need some me time. And when Drew's awake, I don't mind doing housework, but I want to spend time with him too.
And another thing...I really detest planning meals. Lately it seems that all my foolproof meals are...boring. I've made them way too many times, and I'm tired of them.
And then comes the menu hunting. It takes lots of time, and I hardly ever find a recipe that I want to make again. Between finding a recipe that's quick to make, and one that's healthy...arg. Honestly, I have thrown some of my unsuccessful meals away because thinking about eating those leftovers is disgusting.
Any ideas?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Hate is a really strong word to use, but...
I really REALLY do not like my calling in church in right now. I'm a primary teacher. I am not a "kid person". Especially with other people's wild little hooligans.
It feels like I'm being set up to fail. They've partnered me and Cam together to teach, which works great, except that about 1/3 of the time, Cam is working on Sundays. So, it's me, Lexi, and at least 7 or 8 five year olds. Which isn't even the greatest challenge. There is a little girl in my class who is mentally challenged (mentally about 11 months old) who's mother told me on the first day of class that she "loves" babies. Which, I didn't think too much of, till I realized that by "love" she meant hits, kicks, bites, and pulls hair. Now, the challenge is to keep Lexi happy and entertained (even though she's missing her afternoon nap), and away from this little girl, teach class, and to NOT LOSE MY MIND. I'm really thinking about talking to the primary presidency and telling them that I just can't handle this little girl, especially once our little baby is born, because then it will be me, Lexi, baby, the class, and the hitting, kicking, biting little girl.
I realize that to address most of the SUPER difficult stuff, I have to go the presidency to get some help. The problem is, I think even if I didn't have all these challenges, I still wouldn't enjoy teaching primary. I hate that when every Sunday rolls around, I dread going to church. For years, I've loved going to church. Right now, I feel like a teenager, saying 'Do I have to go to church today?'
Our ward split (or really two wards were split, and half of each ward was combined to make a new ward, which is the ward I'm in) and a week later, I was put into the primary. So, I've really struggled feeling like I'm a part of this ward. I don't really know anyone, and even my visiting teachers have never come by or anything. I'm feeling lost, and forgotten in the ward and have kind of fallen out of love with going to church. I miss getting that "refill" of spiritual enlightenment each week. It's kind of like 'what's the point of going to church, other than the responsibility of teaching this class, I'm not really GETTING anything out of church.' I want to go to Relief Society, and have church be a relaxing, enjoyable time. Not a stress inducing disaster.
I know that the specifics of my situation are unique to me, but what do you do when you don't like your calling or dread every Sunday? I don't think I could ever ask to be released, so that's just not an option. It makes me feel like a fair-weather member, only enjoying church when it's easy and doing what I want to do. Has anyone else had a difficult time with a calling (any calling, not a primary teacher specifically)?
Please know that my testimony is strong, so I will keep going to church every week because I know it's the right decision. I just want to show up with a smile on my face, rather than a grimace.
It feels like I'm being set up to fail. They've partnered me and Cam together to teach, which works great, except that about 1/3 of the time, Cam is working on Sundays. So, it's me, Lexi, and at least 7 or 8 five year olds. Which isn't even the greatest challenge. There is a little girl in my class who is mentally challenged (mentally about 11 months old) who's mother told me on the first day of class that she "loves" babies. Which, I didn't think too much of, till I realized that by "love" she meant hits, kicks, bites, and pulls hair. Now, the challenge is to keep Lexi happy and entertained (even though she's missing her afternoon nap), and away from this little girl, teach class, and to NOT LOSE MY MIND. I'm really thinking about talking to the primary presidency and telling them that I just can't handle this little girl, especially once our little baby is born, because then it will be me, Lexi, baby, the class, and the hitting, kicking, biting little girl.
I realize that to address most of the SUPER difficult stuff, I have to go the presidency to get some help. The problem is, I think even if I didn't have all these challenges, I still wouldn't enjoy teaching primary. I hate that when every Sunday rolls around, I dread going to church. For years, I've loved going to church. Right now, I feel like a teenager, saying 'Do I have to go to church today?'
Our ward split (or really two wards were split, and half of each ward was combined to make a new ward, which is the ward I'm in) and a week later, I was put into the primary. So, I've really struggled feeling like I'm a part of this ward. I don't really know anyone, and even my visiting teachers have never come by or anything. I'm feeling lost, and forgotten in the ward and have kind of fallen out of love with going to church. I miss getting that "refill" of spiritual enlightenment each week. It's kind of like 'what's the point of going to church, other than the responsibility of teaching this class, I'm not really GETTING anything out of church.' I want to go to Relief Society, and have church be a relaxing, enjoyable time. Not a stress inducing disaster.
I know that the specifics of my situation are unique to me, but what do you do when you don't like your calling or dread every Sunday? I don't think I could ever ask to be released, so that's just not an option. It makes me feel like a fair-weather member, only enjoying church when it's easy and doing what I want to do. Has anyone else had a difficult time with a calling (any calling, not a primary teacher specifically)?
Please know that my testimony is strong, so I will keep going to church every week because I know it's the right decision. I just want to show up with a smile on my face, rather than a grimace.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Stop, Pay the Ticket, and Drive On
Drew and I were motoring home as fast as possible through the back roads of my neighborhood. As usual, my brain was hopping from subject to subject at lighting speed. "Wow, I can't believe she's moving in two weeks! I wonder what I can do to help. Hmm, I wonder what we should have for lunch?"
Wee-ooohh. Wee-ooohh.
I wonder what that noise was? Must have been the radio.
Wee-ooohh. Wee-ooohh. Again.
I look in my rear view mirror and realize, no, it's not the radio. It's a motorcycle cop.
I wonder what I did? Maybe if I'm friendly, he won't give me a ticket.
I roll down my window and work the cheerful groove. "Hello, Officer!" I chirped.
"Ma'am, are you aware that you blew a stop sign back there?" said Mr. Serious Officer.
"I did? No, I had no idea."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. I could tell because I didn't even see your head turn to look both ways at the intersection. I don't even think you saw me. Can I have your license and registration, please?"
The officer comes back and hands me a ticket for $81 and 4 points on my license.
Darn, no cheerful points.
"Well, thanks, officer, and I'll pay this right away so I only have 2 points on my license," I say.
Now, standard Becky procedure would be to perhaps cry, and then proceed to beat myself up about it for a week or so, and then get over it. But, instead, I just laughed at myself, paid the ticket, and moved on with life. What else could I do, right? (Oh, and I also make sure to reaaaaalllly stop whenever I hit that intersection now.)
So it is with most things in life. Last week I was stressing on the phone to my Mom about possibly offending somebody in a meeting last week. My Mom said, "Remember the day you got that ticket?"
"Yeah," I replied. "Why?"
"Remember that you just stopped, paid the ticket, and moved on with life?"
"Uh-huh."
"It's the same situation here. You've already stopped and realized you made a mistake. You paid the ticket by apologizing. Now, get on with your life and let it go."
So, when you make parenting opps, or chew out a family member, or make some other boo-boo....stop, pay the ticket, and drive on.
For the Savior has already ultimately paid the ticket for you.
Wee-ooohh. Wee-ooohh.
I wonder what that noise was? Must have been the radio.
Wee-ooohh. Wee-ooohh. Again.
I look in my rear view mirror and realize, no, it's not the radio. It's a motorcycle cop.
I wonder what I did? Maybe if I'm friendly, he won't give me a ticket.
I roll down my window and work the cheerful groove. "Hello, Officer!" I chirped.
"Ma'am, are you aware that you blew a stop sign back there?" said Mr. Serious Officer.
"I did? No, I had no idea."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. I could tell because I didn't even see your head turn to look both ways at the intersection. I don't even think you saw me. Can I have your license and registration, please?"
The officer comes back and hands me a ticket for $81 and 4 points on my license.
Darn, no cheerful points.
"Well, thanks, officer, and I'll pay this right away so I only have 2 points on my license," I say.
Now, standard Becky procedure would be to perhaps cry, and then proceed to beat myself up about it for a week or so, and then get over it. But, instead, I just laughed at myself, paid the ticket, and moved on with life. What else could I do, right? (Oh, and I also make sure to reaaaaalllly stop whenever I hit that intersection now.)
So it is with most things in life. Last week I was stressing on the phone to my Mom about possibly offending somebody in a meeting last week. My Mom said, "Remember the day you got that ticket?"
"Yeah," I replied. "Why?"
"Remember that you just stopped, paid the ticket, and moved on with life?"
"Uh-huh."
"It's the same situation here. You've already stopped and realized you made a mistake. You paid the ticket by apologizing. Now, get on with your life and let it go."
So, when you make parenting opps, or chew out a family member, or make some other boo-boo....stop, pay the ticket, and drive on.
For the Savior has already ultimately paid the ticket for you.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Why? Why? Why?
This last summer, while visiting Michelle, I asked her how she had the patience to deal with her daughters millions of questions. Well, now it's my turn. Abby's response to almost anything Cam or I ask of her is 'Why?'
Me: "Can you go get your shoes?"
Abby: "Why?"
Me: "It's time for bed."
Abby: "Why?"
Usually my first response is 'because I said so'. But it rarely stops there. It seems that for everything I say, she can comeback with 'Why?' Grrr. I'm the boss, you just have to do what I say! Okay, not really. But after about 10 'Why's?' I feel like shouting that.
She's also got ten million questions about every book or movie she sees. Lately she's been obsessed with Beauty and the Beast (the movie and the book) and will look over the book and ask questions about the book.
'Why is Belle's mouth like that?'
'Why is the Beast mad?'
'Why is he holding is hand like that?'
This goes on for at least a half an hour or more. Several times a day. I know she is curious and all, but, I'll be honest, it's incredibly annoying.
Do I really need to answer every question? Is it okay to tell her that that's enough questions, that she needs to find something else to do? Or would that be squashing her curiousity?
I know I most kids go through this stage (it is just a stage, right? :) There's got to be a way to make this a little less frustrating.
Me: "Can you go get your shoes?"
Abby: "Why?"
Me: "It's time for bed."
Abby: "Why?"
Usually my first response is 'because I said so'. But it rarely stops there. It seems that for everything I say, she can comeback with 'Why?' Grrr. I'm the boss, you just have to do what I say! Okay, not really. But after about 10 'Why's?' I feel like shouting that.
She's also got ten million questions about every book or movie she sees. Lately she's been obsessed with Beauty and the Beast (the movie and the book) and will look over the book and ask questions about the book.
'Why is Belle's mouth like that?'
'Why is the Beast mad?'
'Why is he holding is hand like that?'
This goes on for at least a half an hour or more. Several times a day. I know she is curious and all, but, I'll be honest, it's incredibly annoying.
Do I really need to answer every question? Is it okay to tell her that that's enough questions, that she needs to find something else to do? Or would that be squashing her curiousity?
I know I most kids go through this stage (it is just a stage, right? :) There's got to be a way to make this a little less frustrating.
It Doesn't Matter...What Anybody Else Thinks
In the past six months, I have undergone some huge personal changes in my life. With my Mom's help, I've worked to change the way I think. And boy, I'm a lot happier. Some of you have expressed interest in the journey I've taken, so I'd like to take the opportunity to share what I've learned on this blog.
Now, does this mean that I'm perfect? That I never have a bad day? Ha. No way. I still have my down days, too. But they have become fewer and easier to beat.
Here's a big lesson that has really helped me in all areas of my life...
I know as mothers we can constantly worry about what other people think of our parenting skills. And we can also worry about what people think about us in every facet of our lives. Here are a few examples from my life:
"What if so-and-so doesn't like when Drew's bedtime is?"
"What if she thinks I'm too lenient with Drew?"
"CRUD! My kitchen was a disaster when so-and-so came over. What if she thinks I'm a terrible housekeeper?"
And the biggie...
"What if they think I'm a BAD MOTHER?!"
Enter my Mom's wisdom. She taught me this simple truth...
When someone confronts you about your parenting, (or anything, really) or when you worry about what other people may be thinking, consider these two questions:
1. Am I right with myself?
2. Am I right with God?
If the answer to these two questions is yes, then let that person talk 'til they're blue in the face. Or let what person think whatever they want. It doesn't matter. You are right with you, and you are right with your Maker. Nobody else matters.
My Mom summed it up this way: "Trust yourself after you place your trust in the Lord."
I've started doing this, and boy, does it make a difference. I've stopped caring what people think of me--from my parenting, to my messy house, to my t-shirt and jeans and un-done hair. It has liberated me. It has helped me become much more confident in who I am and in what I'm doing.
Because I know the One who really matters...is behind me 100%.
Now, does this mean that I'm perfect? That I never have a bad day? Ha. No way. I still have my down days, too. But they have become fewer and easier to beat.
Here's a big lesson that has really helped me in all areas of my life...
I know as mothers we can constantly worry about what other people think of our parenting skills. And we can also worry about what people think about us in every facet of our lives. Here are a few examples from my life:
"What if so-and-so doesn't like when Drew's bedtime is?"
"What if she thinks I'm too lenient with Drew?"
"CRUD! My kitchen was a disaster when so-and-so came over. What if she thinks I'm a terrible housekeeper?"
And the biggie...
"What if they think I'm a BAD MOTHER?!"
Enter my Mom's wisdom. She taught me this simple truth...
When someone confronts you about your parenting, (or anything, really) or when you worry about what other people may be thinking, consider these two questions:
1. Am I right with myself?
2. Am I right with God?
If the answer to these two questions is yes, then let that person talk 'til they're blue in the face. Or let what person think whatever they want. It doesn't matter. You are right with you, and you are right with your Maker. Nobody else matters.
My Mom summed it up this way: "Trust yourself after you place your trust in the Lord."
I've started doing this, and boy, does it make a difference. I've stopped caring what people think of me--from my parenting, to my messy house, to my t-shirt and jeans and un-done hair. It has liberated me. It has helped me become much more confident in who I am and in what I'm doing.
Because I know the One who really matters...is behind me 100%.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Welcome!
Yes, we Moms CAN raise good children. Let's talk out our worries and help each other out right here. We're all listening!
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